In a world commanded by men dominating all fields, it’s rare to chance upon a society that manages to distinguish itself from the norm. However, nestled in the quaint hills of Meghalaya lives a community crafted and carried on by the legacy of its women rather than men: meet the Khasis, a population of yore that occupies a significant chunk of the North-eastern belt of this country.
From women acting as chief custodians of family wealth to owning significant economic and individual liberty, we take a look at one of the few remaining matrilineal societies in existence.
Tracing origins
Believed to have emerged from one of seven divine clans, the Khasi tribe originated from an ancient Austric race in south-east Asia. While the community too was originally believed to follow a patrilineal system of tracing descent through the father’s bloodline, folk stories narrate how situations of war demanded for change in the way genealogy was traced. Men went to war for long periods of time, leaving their wives and families behind in villages for long periods of time. More often than not, these men would either die on the battlefield or remarry among the women of the plains instead of returning home. In such situations where women often chose to remarry or pick a new partner, children of previous marriages were subjected to slurs and insults due to difficulty in tracking their paternity. For these reasons, the clan decided to make a subjective shift to tracing lineage of families through the mother’s title rather than of the father; placing the woman as a central figure in determining how bloodlines were carried on across generations.
Inheritance
“Matriliny is a practice that has been passed on from generation to generation in the Khasi community viz. taking the mother’s surname or passing on of properties to the daughters in a family. In fact, this has been the Khasi community’s legacy since time immemorial”, shares Iamon Swer (name changed), a native Khasi woman. In addition to these customs, the husband is required to move into his wife’s home post-marriage, preserving the tradition of matrilocal residence. “As a woman of the community, it makes me feel empowered in the sense that my children bear my identity through my surname and the ownership of properties in my name. It gives me a sense of respect and recognition despite being a woman,” adds Swer.
The role of women
According to Khasi customs, all ancestral property is traditionally passed down to the youngest daughter who is also known as Ka Khadduh. Since she is bestowed with the responsibility of providing care and support to her ageing parents and other family members, this inheritance is meant to ensure that the family is taken care of. “As I travelled in Meghalaya – as well as many other places in Northeast India – I noticed that women are increasingly involved in economic activities. Large markets – like Lewduh in Shillong – are dominated by meat-chopping women. They are loud, forward and outgoing, and these women are well-respected and they control everyday commercial activities,” shares Zinara Rathnayke, a travel and food writer. Funeral rites are performed by the maternal clan where the deceased’s charred bones are deposited in the maternal ossuary after cremation; a move to ensure that both living and departed souls remain under the tutelage of the ancestral mother.
Liberty and choice
Females in the Khasi tribe are also granted the choice to lead much more independent lives, free from the usual taboos oppressing women in society. “During my first trip to Shillong, I stayed at a homestay run by a Khasi woman and her son. The caretaker was also another local Khasi woman, who began living independently and raised her kid alone as her husband didn’t contribute to the family. So, things like divorce and separation carry little to no stigma in these societies as it does in many other parts of India and the subcontinent. In the villages, it’s very common for women to have live-in relationships before marriage – or, at times, marriages on paper don’t take place,” reveals Zinara.
Divisive line
While tradition and genealogy are traced through the women of Khasi community which grants them a relatively stronger social standing, this liberation must not be mixed with complete autonomy for these measures come with their own set of barriers as well. Even though the youngest daughter acts as the custodian of ancestral property, it is the maternal uncle, also known as U Kni, who is the true guardian and decision-maker of the family. Women may carry a firm hand over certain matters but their low involvement in traditional councils still alienates them from actual power. “This dynamic challenges the assumption that matriliny inherently empowers women, as it can also reinforce expectations that place greater obligations upon them rather than granting them absolute agency,” reveals Dr Piyashi Dutta, Coordinator of Tribal Research and Knowledge Centre.
What’s changed
As times change, so do societies. The influx of modernization and urbanization has drastically affected the family structures we live in; noting a significant shift from large, extended families to smaller, nuclear families. Thus, the traditional power commanded by the U Kni has also eroded over time, with husbands emerging as important figures in the family; threatening the power usually enjoyed by women. Many Khasi families are also choosing to break the norm by passing on the father’s name to both wife and children instead of the mother’s. However, as Daribha Lyndem, Joint Commissioner of GST, Mumbai Zone, a native Khasi woman shares, “Certain men’s rights groups are pushing for a shift to patriliny, but I don’t believe any significant changes will happen—at least not in my lifetime. Women are too vocal about why this shouldn’t happen, and to be honest, many men feel the same way. A major reason for this pushback is the strong belief that lineage should be maintained through the mother’s side, as shifting to patriliny would make the risk of shong sang—marrying within one’s own clan—very real.”
Despite the challenges faced by the community, there is no doubt that the Khasis’ unique emphasis on abiding by customs that make them stand out from the general thumb rules of organizing domestic lives allow us to rethink and reflect on the role and importance of women in society.
